It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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