mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I came so hard my ears popped.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
