There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
