UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
