i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
