this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
porn star boner night. come get it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
