dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
