So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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