Heybabeimwearingurpanties
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize