You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I pour the whiskey from now on
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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