all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
