Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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