remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
