he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
