If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
