she was so not down for the gang bang
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
