dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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