where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
