you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
