She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
