You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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