i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
