you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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