Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
