so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
