Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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