glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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