Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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