Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize