He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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