This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
