I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize