I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
