New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize