: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
