The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
