I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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