that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
