I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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