Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Still dying that you shit outside
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
