Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
