How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
