guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We need to rekindle our bromance
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
