haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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