Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize