She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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