omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So many bounce houses so little time
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
