Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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