I just cut my nipple shaving
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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