Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
