Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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