it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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