I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
