I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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