distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
