i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
