suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
