I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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