What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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