My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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