I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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