hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
