I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
