Kiss
Puke
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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