Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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