Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
