Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
