he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
FUCK WHALES
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
