Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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