Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They took my balls.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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