well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
