Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
