my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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